Yes, I'm slow. It's okay. Really!

Had a nice 5 mile run on the 'mill this morning.  I was fearful that it would be like last week's grueling 5 miler, since I tossed and turned and had wickedly vivid dreams when I did sleep, but I got into a good rhythm and stayed there.  Oh, except for having to jump off at the 2.3 mile mark because suddenly the basement stairwell light went out and I started wondering if there was a prowler in the house (after all, it is still REALLY dark down in the basement before 6 a.m.!).  Up in the kitchen, hubby and 5-year old were huddled in front of one of the heat vents; hubby had shut the light off so that said 5-y.o. would not want to come downstairs and yell "Boo!" at me the way she normally does!  :)

The run gave me time to reflect on Sunday's 5K results and wonder if I will ever get faster.  Or, to be more honest, LESS SLOW.  I didn't come up with a great answer, although when I finished the run and looked at my times for the past 3 weeks, those 5 miles are taking me less time.  The bigger answer that came to me is that it just may not matter how slow I am.  At first, I embraced my pace--it is MY pace, after all--but I had managed to get myself into a funk because of all the running blogs I've been devouring lately, seeing all these SUPER-FAST women making it look so easy!  I look at their PRs for 5Ks, for example, and know in my heart that no matter how much I train, I will never, EVER run that fast.  So I was beginning to beat myself up.  Why run at all if you can't go fast?  Why post times that are bound to make some folks laugh out loud?

Then TurboTurtle kicked in and slapped some sense into Doubting Lisa.  What possible difference can it make if I am slower than the vast majority of other people who call themselves runners?  I RUN.  I get up most mornings and do something that is good for me, that makes me happier, more self-confident, than if I stayed in bed.  That's all that matters. 

Oh, and if you happen upon this blog and you are wondering whether you, too, could be a runner, I can honestly say that if I can do it, slow pace, self-doubts and all, you DEFINITELY can!